Due Date

I’m loathe to write this review.  I hate this movie.  I hate this genre of movie.  I hate that Hollywood can’t think of anything else to do than cast Zach Galifianakis as the obnoxious passenger in every road comedy this year, until someone does another nature movie with Morgan Freeman narrating.  Stabbing my eyeballs with bleach-soaked toothpicks would relieve the painful memory of sitting through this exercise in nihilism.  But none of that offends me more than the supposition that such a crass series of gross-out jokes could somehow fill the size 13 shoes of Steve Martin and the late John Candy’s much vaunted performances in Planes, Trains and Automobiles, directed by that witty observer of the human condition, John Hughes.

Mr. Galifianakis plays Ethan Tremblay, or so we’re told—a rather unnerving man with a series of detestable habits, not limited to semi-public masturbation.  His unwitting passenger is Robert Downey, Jr., an architect by the name Peter Highman (really?).  Peter’s wife, Sarah (Michelle Monaghan), is pregnant with their first child, naturally, as luck in these sorts of movies would have it.  The short, tolerable version: A bag mix-up with Ethan at the airport causes both passengers to be put on the No Fly list.  Of course, this means that one of them will secure a rental car, and the other will be forced to tag along.

There isn’t much else to be said about this film.  The standard rules of the road apply.  Peter will try to ditch Ethan, and return out of guilt.  Ethan will provoke them into a detour well out of the way of their route to Los Angeles, possibly winding up in another country.  Someone will be detained.  The other will break them out.  You get the idea.

The film’s only real working element is Robert Downey, Jr.  I would much rather see two hours of him improvising without any script, than watch five minutes of Zach Galifianakis’ tired shtick.  In fact, in 2005, Robert Downey, Jr’s improvisational skills were given room in Shane Black’s action/comedy/mystery Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. He had plenty of opportunity to bounce zingers off Val Kilmer, who is equally bizarre.  I would know.  I’ve met the man.  Suffice it to say I have nothing but respect for both of them.  Intellectually, Mr. Kilmer and Mr. Downey, Jr., are equally matched.  Mr. Galifianakis’ only turn thus far that I found palatable was as a psych ward patient in the more sobering It’s Kind of a Funny Story.

The problem may not entirely be the actor.  It’s a common routine that breakout stars become typecast.  Not many in Hollywood are willing to be edgy and take a true risk.  Not surprisingly, the gags here are beaten to death long after they’ve stopped being funny—assuming they were in the first place.  Cremated remains in a coffee can?  Are you kidding me?  Counting Road Trip and The Hangover, Mr. Galifianakis’ breakout role, this is at least the third of writer/director Todd Phillips’ recycled catastrophe-on-wheels/coming-of-middle-age formula.

His script gives us not one but two crass characters.  Ethan is only marginally more honorable than the selfish Peter.  This doesn’t work.  There’s nothing for Robert Downey, Jr’s irascible straight man to push against.  Ethan, in that regard, is nothing like the overbearing, yet entirely well-meaning, Del Griffith with whose haplessness we all could empathize.  Pity isn’t something that can be manufactured, but don’t tell that to Jason Heyman at Creative Artists’ Agency or he’ll be out of a job.

Due Date • Dolby® Digital surround sound in select theatres • Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1 • Running Time: 100 minutes • MPAA Rating: R for language, drug use and sexual content. • Distributed by Warner Bros. Pictures

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