Matchbox: The Movie

The product placement is surprisingly minimal in Matchbox: The Movie, in which the characters on two legs aren’t as compelling as those on four wheels.

Indeed, this cinematic marketing ploy overflows with nostalgic affection for the venerable line of titular toys, yet the ridiculous story never gets out of first gear.

Maybe credit is due for a somewhat innovative premise that simply doesn’t succeed — translating high-octane childhood fantasies into high-stakes adult realities via a globetrotting espionage thriller with plenty of horsepower but little coherence or common sense.

As a teenager, Sean (John Cena) had a crush on Aimee (Jessica Biel) as they bonded over an affinity for cars at a repair shop belonging to her uncle, Cal (Bill Camp).

Decades later, they reunite at Cal’s funeral, along with the rest of their so-called Matchbox Gang — including a science teacher (Arturo Castro), a construction foreman (Sam Richardson), and a television news helicopter pilot (Teyonah Parris).

Sean hasn’t been in touch because he’s been infiltrating terrorist groups as a covert CIA operative. The rest of them learn that the hard way when their drinks are spiked during dinner, and they wake up on a plane overseas.

As it turns out, Sean has been framed for the suspected theft of a nuclear warhead he once transported, and now he and his friends must find it to clear his name. Of course, their loyalty, resilience, and driving skills are tested.

As directed by Sam Hargrave (Extraction), the resulting generic, over-the-top ensemble action saga tries unsuccessfully to channel the imaginations of children whose connections to Matchbox toys stuck with them into adulthood. The film takes itself too seriously to duplicate the fun we remember.

The clunky screenplay by David Coggeshall (The Family Plan) functions as a bridge between the elaborate set pieces without offering much character depth or emotional complexity. Bookend sequences featuring Sean, Aimee, and an actual toy vehicle show potential the rest of the film doesn’t fulfill.

It feels like a weak sales pitch, regardless of the volume of vehicle chases and stunts — some of which generate intermittent excitement.

Regardless, by comparison, playing with Matchbox cars is more amusing than watching Matchbox: The Movie, although that seems only partially intentional.

Rated PG-13, 126 minutes.