Fountain of Youth

You might feel like you’ve aged considerably while watching Fountain of Youth, a convoluted thriller that rarely leaves the shallow end of the pool.

This silly globetrotting adventure from prolific director Guy Ritchie (Sherlock Holmes) blends art history and religious conspiracies into a slick Indiana Jones knockoff that lacks much underlying suspense in its central mystery.

Beyond the obligatory parade of elaborate set pieces, this throwback saga struggles to raise the emotional stakes or inspire a genuine sense of discovery.

The film opens by setting the tone with a stirring motorbike chase through crowded urban streetscapes. The target is Luke (John Krasinski), who’s carrying a prized painting in his satchel.

Luke is a rogue treasure hunter living in the shadow of his late archaeologist father. He’s become estranged from his sister, Charlotte (Natalie Portman), a researcher who reluctantly joins Luke for his latest heist.

He’s been hired by a terminally ill tycoon (Domhnall Gleeson) convinced that healing powers behind the titular myth are real, and Luke can lead a quest to discover the truth. Luke is haunted and obsessed by bringing recognition to their father’s name, but Charlotte accuses him of corrupting the family legacy.

“Don’t tell me that your primal curiosities are not piqued by the great mysteries,” Luke tells her in a prime example of the pseudointellectual babble that fuels their tiresome bickering.

Nevertheless, the trio assembles a small team for a scavenger hunt that takes them across Europe, finding clues hidden in famous paintings.

Krasinski builds on his action-hero credentials but his character comes off as a smug and obnoxious motormouth whose moral compass is never explored with much depth.

The tossed-off quips are a mixed bag in the well-researched screenplay by James Vanderbilt (White House Down), which might make scholars scoff. Who knew the Austrian National Library had so many hidden doors and secret passageways? Or that you could infiltrate the pyramids in Egypt with firearms and heavy machinery with nobody batting an eye?

Meanwhile, nondescript villains and cloudy motives drive a generic adversarial tension before the story careens off the rails in the Tomb Raider final act.

Along the way, it’s easy to lose track of what they’re all searching for in the first place. They might be seeking immortality, but Fountain of Youth deserves the exact opposite.

Rated PG-13, 125 minutes.