“Britain – The Dark Ages,” reads the title card at the beginning of this movie. The Irish, we’re informed, must not be allowed to unite against the Britons, or the Britons will fall. The title cards for the theatrical trailer read, “Before Romeo and Juliet…” I’m certain the only reason they failed to mention this tale predates even…
“Glory Road” opens as though it were Jerry Bruckheimer’s wet dream—a title sequence that plays out like a trailer. Why do we need the flashcards-for-dummies approach? We’re already there, seated. I feel like I’m watching George Bush’s second term sound-bite speeches that, despite two wins, still sound like…
From the very beginning, the movie establishes that it’s a musical, as the audience of a Broadway show exits the theater singing a number extolling just how terrible Max Bialystock’s (Nathan Lane) shows are… and that got me thinking about “Robin Hood: Men in Tights.” Every other film Mel Brooks has directed or…
The plot, however flimsy it is, unfolds when Casanova is captured after yet another conquest at a local nunnery. The local magistrate is eager to finally be rid of him, thus Casanova is and sentenced to be hanged for his debauchery. Guilty though he may be, Casanova has friends in high places…
Ben Mitchell (Nathan Phillips), Kristi Earl (Kestie Morassi) and Liz Hunter (Cassandra McGrath) are preparing to make a trip up to Wolf Creek, a strange natural crater site. Ben and Liz seem to be interested in one another, and flirt here and there along the way. Ben tries, as many movie males do, to impress the ladies with some singing and mediocre guitar playing—”tries” being the…
“Geisha,” Mameha informs us, “are not courtesans and we are not wives. ‘Geisha’ means artist, and to be geisha is to be judged as a moving work of art.” She eventually negotiates with the house to take Chiyo under her wing, as a protége to rival Pumpkin who is now under the tutelage of Hatsumomo. The housemistresses suspect Mameya is seeking revenge against Chiyo…
Steven Spielberg’s “Munich” is “inspired by real events,” as the title card reads at the beginning. Several athletes gather near the temporary quarters between the beer gardens and the olympic stadium. Some men looking rather Middle Eastern (read: suspicious) attempt to get over the gate. An American group of athletes sees them and assumes they’re trying to get to the beer gardens. So, they help them jump the fence. The eerie haze…
So I prepared myself for this movie, having an idea of what to expect from the Farrelly brothers—who have raised political-incorrectness to an art form (albeit in a rather perverse manner). I’m expecting there to be rampant assaults on mental disability, and instead I feel like I’ve stepped into the Twilight Zone. At the promo screening, I’m told, are Special Olympics board members, athletes and even the President of the…