Godzilla vs. Kong

There are human characters in Godzilla vs. Kong, but they are really a nuisance and a stall tactic, collectively providing opportunities for bathroom breaks or beverage refills.

After all, hockey fans get riled up over the fights, not the referees who break them up. And race fans get a charge from seeing crashes, not the officials who bring out the caution flag afterward.

For most viewers, the focus in this big-budget tentpole will be exclusively on the titular battle of stalwart cinematic collosi, with many taking sides and perhaps soliciting wagers.

Checking the tale of the tape between gorilla and lizard, Kong has an advantage in strength and reach, along with the chest-beating intimidation factor. Godzilla has greater agility, plus the power to shoot fluorescent lasers out of his mouth.

At any rate, the film loosely converges the storylines from prior adventures involving both oversized anthropomorphic combatants — Kong: Skull Island (2017) and Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019) — in order to hit global targets and fulfill narrative obligations from their respective franchises.

This installment opens with Kong growing restless with his captivity on Skull Island in the South Pacific. Meanwhile, Godzilla starts by unleashing an apparently unprovoked attack on Pensacola, Florida, of all places. In other words, they are pissed off.

The assembly-line screenplay introduces a time-killing plot involving technological overreach and corporate greed, but mostly the self-reflexive wisecracking and verbal sparring among humans feels like the undercard prior to the main event. Apparently the collection of bumbling scientists, unscrupulous capitalists, and crazed conspiracy theorists likewise has the titular matchup at the top of their March Madness brackets.

Round 1 is set aboard an aircraft carrier, while the climactic rematch spares Japan this time. Instead, Hong Kong bears the brunt of the destruction, with the final showdown staged amid a neon-infused cityscape in which skyscrapers are treated like a jungle gym.

However, the two beasts wind up having to deal with more than just one another, as loyalties shift and the future of the world potentially lies in the balance.

As directed by Adam Wingard (You’re Next), the film delivers some thrilling effects-driven spectacle. It’s technically proficient both in terms of creature design and action choreography.

Godzilla vs. Kong doesn’t require a shred of intellectual or emotional investment, selling out substance for silliness. Don’t bother if you’re expecting otherwise.

Rated PG-13, 113 minutes.