Slither

“Plan 9 from Outer Space” is regarded as one of the worst films ever. However, because it’s so painstakingly cheesy and hilarious, it has earned the status of a cult classic. There are many other films out there that are either great cult classics (“Shaun of The Dead”) or shaky ones (“Donnie Darko”).

James Gunn’s “Slither” happens to be such an unfortunate, unrealistic, and bad film, I’m surprised that I liked it. “Slither” is bound to be a cult film and most likely in a few years, you’ll walk along the streets of NY late at night and see people dressed as squid creatures. Scary to think about, I know. It reminds me of Mel Brooks’ “The Producers”:

“It is possible that a producer could make more with a flop, than he could a hit!”
– Gene Wilder, “The Producers”

A small town in the south known as Wheelsy, is one of those quiet “nothing ever happens here, so of course this is where this atrocity takes place” towns. The residents keep to themselves, confederate flags hang over stores, and the mayor (Gregg Henry) screams profanity in front of children. I wouldn’t want to live there, but the people are fairly content with their lifestyle.

Starla Grant (Elizabeth Banks, the sleazy co-star of The 40 Year-Old Virgin) is a high school teacher in Wheely. Her students are less interested in learning than ogling her. After leaving school, her husband, Grant Grant (Michael Rooker), a stubborn type, escorts her home.

In the evening, after his wife declines sex, he goes out to a bar and runs into a childhood friend, Brenda Gutierrez (Brenda James). The two exit the bar and enter the woods drunk, where Grant stumbles upon a pod—in the opening of the film, we saw it tumble from space—that shoots a needle into his chest. He begins to transform into a squid like creature which turns others into walking zombies. With the help of Police Chief Bill Pardy (Nathan Fillion) only he and Starla can save her husband and the town.

The hilarious thing about this film is that it tries to be as serious as possible and throws in some humor to try to be quirky, but it fails miserably. The dialogue and storyline attempt to be as serious possible (screenplay by James Gunn also). The trouble is, the actors can barely keep a straight face. You’re almost yelling out to them, “Just act dammit!” Of the jokes in the film, few get you laughing and mostly out of sheer absurdity alone. For example, the police force maps the movement of Grant Grant with squid stickers and a squid beanie baby on a desk.

The film is limited largely by the sparsity of characters to make you feel like it’s any real town you might know. The cinematography by George Middleton is framed tightly, as is to avoid revealing the absence of a well-developed setting.

The effects are hilariously fake. The CGI of the little worms that move at high speed makes them look like uncooked sausages with strawberry filling. Grant Grant looks a lot like a giant squid with patches of hair on the skull and teeth on the right side of his face. His killing of a local is reminiscent of a character meeting a “Final Destination”-style end. A grenade also takes about five minutes to off, so the characters have time to play hacky-sack with it.

Scary, it isn’t. However, the gore is pretty heavy and it has plenty of gross-out moments to make you shift in your seat. If you had a problem with parts of Peter Jackson’s “King Kong,” definitely do not stray too near a theater in which this movie is playing.

The director has an affinity, it seems, for spoofing other horror films, noticeably “Alien,” “Night of the Living Dead,” “Shaun of the Dead,” and “Evil Dead.”

By the end, you’re underwhelmed, wondering, “So then what happens?” It’s like being up to bat on the baseball field; you miss the ball, but you hit a bug which makes a sick splatter on the bat. At least you hit something. Though unintentionally funny, you could reason that you were still entertained. But doesn’t that tend to be the case these days?

Slither • Dolby® Digital surround sound in select theatres • Running Time: 96 minutes • MPAA Rating: R for strong horror violence and gore, and language. • Distributed by Universal Studios