Month: January 2006

Big Momma’s House 2

There’s only one purpose behind a sequel like this: money. Let’s assume for a second, however, that I care about how much money a film makes. Why would I make, more or less, the same film twice? Have I completely run out of ideas? There are plenty of writers in Hollywood pitching their ideas to studios. So why this? Well, that’s quite simple. It’s easier to…

The New World

In April of 1607, as the history books remind us, Captain John Smith (Colin Farrell) and and the Virginia Company—under a grant from King Charles I—settled to colonize what is now Jamestown, Virginia. As far as I know, that’s where the similarities end. As Jennifer Hemmingsen of Indian Country Today notes, historians seem to agree there was no romance between John Smith and Pocahantas. However, I’m not interested in judging the historical accuracy of films as I view all films as essentially derivative in one way…

Match Point

Chris Wilton (Jonathan Rhys Myers), a former tennis pro, is scoping out apartments near a tennis club. He tries reading Dostoevsky, but picks up the Cambridge Companion instead. This is a pun, but you’ll get why later. He’s invited to join his friend, Tom Hewett (Matthew Goode) and Tom’s father Alec (Brian Cox) at the opera. Tom’s sister, Chloe (Emily Mortimer), glances surreptitiously at Chris throughout…

Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World

Because I didn’t exactly hate “Finding Nemo,” despite its recycling of a plot that’s essentially kept Disney on life support since “Bambi,” and because I found the concept of “Defending Your Life” amusing (yes, I’m an atheist, but it’s a movie), I thought this movie could be funnier than hell. I was born in India, and…

The Matador

Julian Noble (Pierce Brosnan) finds himself in bed with a woman, and what’s the first thing that comes to his mind? He paints his toenails with her nail polish. As he leaves, he emerges streetside and a kid asks, “Hey mister, is that your car?” Seconds later, the Porsche explodes. The gruff toenail-painter with the porn-stache must be an assassin. And then you…

Mrs. Henderson Presents

In 1932, the Windmill Theatre began non-stop variety with their production, “Revuedeville,” inspired allegedly by their Paris namesake, the Moulin Rouge. It’s a historical fact that the Windmill displayed a sign, with pride, that read, “WE NEVER CLOSED,” referring to the fact that they remained open through the London bombings during World War II with the exception of a government-enforced closing from…

Tristan and Isolde

“Britain – The Dark Ages,” reads the title card at the beginning of this movie. The Irish, we’re informed, must not be allowed to unite against the Britons, or the Britons will fall. The title cards for the theatrical trailer read, “Before Romeo and Juliet…” I’m certain the only reason they failed to mention this tale predates even…

Glory Road

“Glory Road” opens as though it were Jerry Bruckheimer’s wet dream—a title sequence that plays out like a trailer. Why do we need the flashcards-for-dummies approach? We’re already there, seated. I feel like I’m watching George Bush’s second term sound-bite speeches that, despite two wins, still sound like…